Last March, I needed to decompress after a pretty stressful couple of weeks at work and decided to head to Puerto Rico. I had an award ticket with United Airlines and got upgraded to business class. ¡Wepa!
My disappointment started when I boarded. No pillows, no blankets, but thankfully I could lie flat, because I hadn’t slept the night before. After breakfast, I pushed away my tray, lowered my seat and fell asleep. I didn’t wake up until the flight attendant asked me to return my seat to the upright position. The smooth flight made up for my disappointment with the upgrade. It even made up for the children running back and forth in the aisles (I was vaguely conscious of them while I slept).
Upon arrival in San Juan, I took an Uber to my hotel, the Fairmont El San Juan. Another disappointment. As I waited on the pool deck for my room, I counted three DJs playing three different types of music between the pool and the beach. Clearly, this was not the place to decompress. I checked out the next morning with no clear destination.
I decided to do a tour of Old San Juan, and after chatting with a young family over lunch in the open-air restaurant at Palacio Provincial, I was convinced to book the remainder of my stay at the El Conquistador Resort in Fajardo.
When I arrived at the El Conquistador, all the joy I felt about this beautiful resort disappeared in the 45 minutes I stood in line to check in. By the time I reached the desk, I was in agony from standing in flip-flops on the hard tile floor. I was then given vague directions to my room. I walked for what felt like an eternity through a maze of hallways and staircases, only to discover that my room was right next to the elevators. Once inside, I found the carpet was damp, the bathroom door was broken, and there was no room service. ¡Ay, Dios mío!
The El Conquistador Resort has all the trappings of an all-inclusive resort, complete with a waterpark, but nothing is included. That evening, I ate dinner at the Brisas Courtyard Cafe. I had the churrasco with rice and beans and ripe plantains, and it gave me a better outlook on the resort.
The next morning, I took the funicular down to the marina.
At the bar, I saw a woman sitting by herself, sipping a mimosa and looking every bit like a member of The Hammock Society. I walked over, said hi and ordered a mimosa of my own while I waited for the ferry to Palomino Island, a private island that’s part of the resort.
During the short ferry ride, storm clouds seemed to materialize out of nowhere. A light drizzle started as we approached the beach, so I made my way to the restaurant for lunch, hoping it was a passing shower and my beach day wouldn’t be lost to rain.
Within minutes of finishing my lunch, the sun was out again, and I was able to enjoy the beach.
The water was a little too cold and had too much seaweed for my liking. I thought about all the beautiful beaches I could have been on. But here I was, fighting with sargassum in Puerto Rico.
Back on the sand, I made friends with a rooster. I couldn’t tell if it was a pet or a future meal. I figured, I’d better treat it nicely. I remembered my Puerto Rican neighbors from when we lived in the Bronx. They raised chickens, so we’d wake to a crowing rooster every morning, as though we were back in the Caribbean.
I fell asleep to the warmth of the sun on my wet skin. For the first time since I started this trip, I began to feel like I was actually decompressing.
The next morning, I wanted to follow up on that feeling. I booked a spa treatment and went to the pool to wait for my appointment. The El Conquistador is a family resort, so there were children everywhere. Most were in the waterpark, though, so I was able to enjoy the pool and relax on the pool deck in relative serenity.
Signs of the rebuilding after Hurricane Maria were all around me. The guest rooms closest to the pool had been damaged by the storm and were still under repair. I wondered what the resort might have looked like before, and what it would look like in the future. I probably wouldn’t return to find out, because that check-in process is one I’d rather not repeat.
Soon it was time for my massage. I couldn’t wait to get relief from my neck and shoulder pain. The spa experience was lovely, complete with complimentary champagne, but the massage itself was disappointing.
That evening, my last night, I dined under the stars at Café Bella Vista, then went back to my room to binge-watch Poker Face. I had an early flight the next morning and debated whether to go to sleep or pull an all-nighter. Sleep won.
If I hadn’t been so bone-tired, I would have stayed at the Fairmont. I really liked its location on the beach and being close to town. Still, the El Conquistador was just lovely, with stunning views, great restaurants and easy access to the ferries to Culebra and Vieques. Had I booked a longer stay, I would have organized a couple of day trips. I might even have bought one of the excursions the representative at the concierge desk was so eager to sell me.
I would absolutely visit Puerto Rico again someday, but not to decompress.
My flight home was on Delta, and even though I was in economy this time, I found this lovely note from the flight crew on my seat. ❤️
THE HAMMOCK SOCIETY TRAVEL TIP
I used Travel and Leisure GO for all my hotel bookings in Puerto Rico, but I wouldn’t recommend this service. I canceled my membership the minute I got home.